So many of us, luckily, might have encountered mostly good people in our lives, but with social media and fast-vast communication of today we find out that there are a lot of people behaving in the most ugly and evil ways possible. Watching videos of abuse, hostility, greed and selfishness generates a lot of sadness and discuss inside me towards humanity. I find myself saying “I hate people” so many the times.
Then someone comes to me and says, “there are also so many good people, you shouldn’t hate the whole human race because of the bad people”. It’s a different type of racism, hating the whole humanity. I decided that I need to change my perspective on humanity, and to do that I needed to understand people. To do that I’ve spend soo many hours listening, reading and watching the stories of people that did good and bad. After collecting all that data I came to realize almost all of evil grew from pure, naive, defenceless kids experiencing psychological problems because of neglect, abuse and loneliness they had to endure.
Once they feel like their life is worthless and they cannot be heard they decide that everyone and everything else is worthless and they can be heard by reflecting all that anger and sadness they have in them with violent acts that can harm their surroundings. It’s actually as simple as that. You might think that not everyone who’s been abused, neglected and isolated turns out to be a bad person; but you also consider that not everyone has the same strength to see the beauty and good through the ugliness and bad. Some are born with enough strength in them to go through all the trauma all by themselves, some need a bit of hope or support from others and some need a lot of helping hand and love to get through. Just because some people didn’t have enough strength, enough support or haven’t felt safe enough to share their feelings and thoughts with others we categorise them as bad people. I believe we can change that...
Don’t get me wrong people can and will always surrender to bad choices even if they are cared for or heard. The temptations of greed, envy, power, ego, etc will always be there and one way or another we will make mistakes and make bad choices, after all, we’re only humans. But the important thing is realising our mistakes and learning from them. I believe we will always evolve and there will always be space to grow and be better, and to do that out best tool is communication! Yeah again it’s that simple and that cheesy, but it’s true. But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.
People are complex and different; to understand each and everyone of them you need to invest so much of your time and energy on them and block your judgments and just listen. Not everyone has the skills to do that, and most of them who are good at it can charge you so much. But there are other options.
Family is the first option, but if you don’t feel safe or comfortable enough to talk to your family real friends are the best option. Friends who are there for you, who don’t judge you, who tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear, who are honest with you are gold! Always invest your energy and time to real friends who’d be real with you.
If you feel like you don’t have such friends, strangers can always come in handy. I’ve never heard so much encouragement in life then I’ve got in a club’s girls bathroom :) It could be just a question that your Uber driver asks, a good advice from someone waiting the delayed bus with you, or a barmen giving you motivation while fixing your drink. It’s easier to open up to strangers, and even if they don’t give you an answer you needed it’s always a good feeling to share your burden and feel lighter.
But if you’re not comfortable with any of these options another great or even better option is, there are so many non-profit organisations and support groups that are waiting on the other line of the phone to listen to you and help you.
We’re all different and we all have different needs and wants, but we all want to be heard and understood, for that we all need to talk and sometimes just listen. If you’ve read this article until the end you might have something you want to share or you might think of a loved one who could use a talk or even you could just be curious about people in general.
My advice to you is this week either open up to someone about the feelings you’ve been buried under, or start a conversation with someone you know who might need a helping hand or even be a pair of non-judgmental ears to a total stranger who wants to be heard. I would love to hear your experience and how it maid each of you feel after a real open conversation.
-keep it simple with chary on top-
Some great organisations if you need to talk to someone:
1) Mind - they provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
2) Hub of hope - find the closest space to talk to someone
3) Shout 85258 - 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope.
4) CALM - they are united against suicide, 5pm to midnight call their helpline 365 days of the week
5) No Panic - helps and support those living with Panic Attacks, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and other related anxiety disorders also carers of people who suffer from anxiety disorders.
*All of the text above is based on personal thoughts and experiences. Please don't view it as professional facts or suggestions.*